MY STARTUP LIFE-- or lack thereof
what happens when life ends and work begins    
Journal - Photographs - About
Scrap 08/27/00 Selling it all. Low low bargin basement prices! We've been selling our assets latey. Pyra gets the servers, nice to keep it in the family. And for the record, I bought the Aeron chair out of my own pocket, so I'm keeping it.
Interviews 08/16/00 People ask what happened to your last employer a lot. It's not like pouring salt into an open wound so much as licking it-- it doesn't hurt, it's just weird. It's not shameful or depressing, really, just a fact. My last thing didn't work out so well, I learned a lot, and now I'm looking for something new.
Self Absorbed Loser 08/22/00 Fucked Company doesn't love bryan.
Hew-Mah 08/22/00 Fucked Company loves Deepleap

"gotta love this company, their so cute in their departure.. 'servers will turn into pumpkins'"

"don't know deepleap.com but their "departure" page is amusing. Have to give them credit for bowing out gracefully."

This is how I want Deepleap to be remembered, a fun, self-aware company.
Now it's time... 08/21/00 To say goodbye...

All I can say to our users is I'm-- we're-- sorry.

We posted the announcement tonight and throughout the entire process of editing the site and scping the changes I was rather numb. Within 10 minutes people had emailed with condolences.
Back to Austin 08/15/00 I got back from DC tonight. Tempy picked me up at the airport and we drove straight to a dinner meeting at Curra's. We don't really have a choice, there's simply no money left. It's a shitty place to be in. On one hand we could leave the servers up and find a way to pay for the hosting. If we eventually find some funding we could then kick back into fulltime production, but while the servers are up and we all (or at least ben and I, the tech people) have jobs things decay and fall apart. We wont be able to support any uprgades or modifications. We're in a stranglehold. We'll make the announcement next week, and two weeks from that date we will shut down the servers.
Two Faced 08/11/00 Had lunch with a friend and told him about Deepleap's ailing status over edamame. We walked back to the conference center and ran into someone else we both know who, of course, asked about Deepleap. I shook his hand and told him that, "Version 2 will be really cool when it comes out." I considered using the word "if" instead of "when" but decided that it probably send up flags-- flags I don't have the energy to deal with.
Stages of Failure Realization 08/05/00 Transcribed from notebook: "Extreme sadness, hope, indiference, sadness, defensiveness, disappointment, anger, indiference, resolution."
Bye Bye 08/04/00 "Larry" left on Tuesday and never came back. I don't blame him. Adam stuck around a bit longer as he had flights to re-arrange. Tomorrow I fly to DC, so this was goodbye to adam.

Transcribed from notebook:
"Ken's and a drive down congress-- buildings at night."
Fights 08/03/00 Transcribed from notebook: "Big fight again... As a child my mother always told me to 'watch my tone of voice,' but I never knew what she meant, or cared to understand. Now I do. Inequities of commitment, endurance, and ability to communicate are all very dangerous." Arguments always erupt in stressful situations, Deepleap is no exception.
For the Money 08/02/00 Transcribed from notebook: "'We've never done this for the money, so why start now?' ...what I didn't say but should have."
Employees 08/01/00 We had a founders meeting in the morning, decided on a plan of action, then went back to the office. You know when you get a call to "come to the coffee shop we have to have a meeting" that it's a bad thing. And you know that this bad thing being the day before funding is supposed to arrive that the bad thing is a bad money thing. So we have our meeting and go back to the office downtrodden. This being the first day of a new pay-cycle Ben and I got Adam and "Larry" and headed to lunch and a movie. "I have a headache, I can't work," I feigned. It was true, in a sense. Getting back from the movie put us perfectly at 4:00pm, time for our meeting. Lane explained slowly that, well, we have no money to pay anyone. All of the founders had been without paychecks for a month, two months, or more so that the employees could be paid but even that was no longer an option. I couldn't look them in the eye, I don't think I knew Shame before that meeting.
Hole 08/01/00 Transcribed from notebook: "Deepleap bankrupt. Actually, $5000 in the hole. We were in an article in playboy last week, yesterday Cnet TV, today the Cnet front page.

No future plans." Of course this wasnt-- and isn't-- exactly true. We did not and will not declare bankruptcy.

This was the second time that funding fell through at the last minute.
This, Now. 08/01/00 Welcome to life.
July...